Happy Generosity Day!

Valentine's Day giving you the blues? Are you single and alone and two steps away from a bag of chocolate...yes, I'm talking to you.  The chocolate coma is not worth is, I promise.

Let's change angles.  Let's shift our perspectives.  Instead of, "What a sh*tty Valentine's Day this is for ME," let's make it about someone else - anyone else.

Today is Generosity Day.  It is the day we have put off far too long. It is the day we have told ourselves time and time again, "I'm going to help out that guy on the street one day.  I'm going to give to a charity or cause one day.  I'm going to be the generous tipper at a restaurant one day.  I'm going to be the brave person who talks to the lonely security guard one day. I'm going to reconnect with that long lost friend or family member one day." Well, today is that day.

Today is the day.  Today is the day we can choose to feel sorry for ourselves and to throw our very own self-pity party.

Or, we can choose to act out what Valentine's Day is really about: love, compassion, empathy, generosity, connection, vulnerability, belonging, and courage.  That's right.  No where is Valentine's day about chocolate, self-pity, self-doubt, candy grams, and plastic hearts.  It's true.  Wal-mart, Target, the convenience stores, grocery stores and commercials have all been lying.  I promise.

Today is the day. Meet someone new.  Give a little more.  Stretch your mind and your heart.  Feeling nervous? Never done anything like this before? That's okay.  There's a first time for everything.

Furthermore, I promise you really can't fail at it!  All you have to do is be human and attempt as best you can to feel what someone else feels, practice some genuine empathy, give. You will surprise yourself.  You will do these things with raw and genuine generosity without any contrived superficiality.
Remember you really have nothing to lose.  On the contrary, you only have joy, connection and a deeper understanding of the human condition to gain - if you dare to go that far.

V-Day

This weekend I had the privilege of participating in the 3rd annual Vagina Monologues at my medical school.  I wrote in my bio that I was inspired to try-out after watching KC Baker's TED talk on women claiming the public stage.   In the talk, KC referred to the Dalai Lama's comment, "The world will be saved by the western woman." KC responded with, "The world will be saved by the western woman who speaks up."

For those of you who have not seen or heard of the Vagina Monologues, it is a play based on over 200 interviews with women about all sorts of vaginal topics: ranging from orgasms and the art of finding the clitoris to rape and abuse.  The themes from  the interviews were consolidated into monologues that are performed throughout the country to raise awareness of the ongoing violence against women.  Valentine's Day was dubbed V-Day as the official day to campaign and protest.

Each year, the Vagina Monologues also spotlights an area of the world where the violence has been escalated, and a monologue is performed to commemorate the women affected.  This year, the campaign focused on the devastated post-earthquake region of Haiti, war-torn Congo and post-Katrina New Orleans. While they are three very different areas of the world, the monologue tied the themes of oppression, racism and sexism together to highlight issues of which women all throughout the world can relate and stand in solidarity.   I was lucky enough to perform that monologue.

All aspects of the show impacted me.  I befriended fourteen other courageous and strong future female physicians, healed immensely through connection and bonding,  overcame nerves to claim the public stage and finally delivered an important message.  Heck, I even learned things about my vagina I had not previously been taught-no, not even in anatomy class.

The spotlight monologue was technically focused on other regions of the world, but the slam poetry could pull on a heartstring of any woman.  I could relate to it, the women of Philadelphia could relate to it, and by the end of two months of rehearsal, I could literally feel my life story with the life stories of all women being told in that poem.

While Saturday and Sunday's performance were delivered smoothly and moved the audience to both laughter and tears, today's performance at a local women's shelter, The Sheila Dennis House, left an imprint on me of gratitude, humility and fellowship.

We had never had an audience as animated at the Sheila Dennis House today.  At every mention of the word vagina or clitoris, they gasped, their eyes bulged out, and finally and without any inhibition, they let out roars of laughter.

My monologue was supposed to take the audience on a journey.  It started in chaos as I delivered the scenery of garbage, animals and rubble.  We then barged right through a wall of frustration as the audience and I realized no - no one was coming to help- even though help was promised.  Then, there is the line where the mood changes.

"Dances churches fields abuse centers carrying possibility bellies beings words."

At this point, my voice changes and I am moved.

It happened consistently, each time I practiced and performed the monologue: while running, in the shower or at rehearsal.  But tonight, during that line, I gazed into the eyes of a seven month pregnant twenty-something year old in the front row.  The entire audience let out an awe of relief as we all gathered our compassion and strength for her alone.

It is this line where the mood shifts.  It is this line where every single woman can relate: black, white, American, Haitian, Congolese, broken, rich, poor...

It is this point where the woman overcomes adversity, recalls her inner strength, finds enough courage to connect with others and remembers nothing can stop her.  It is this line when women band together, decide to dance regardless of circumstance, and realize that the world's destiny is up to their attitude, resilience and courage.

When the women were brought into my story, into chaos, they nodded in empathy.  I could feel their thoughts, "mmhmm, I've been there." They sang "Amens" during the frustration as they all knew what it feels like to be in a situation where they did not have control and to yearn for a helping hand that would never arrive.  But then, simultaneously with the inflection of my voice, they eased into the optimism of that line. From that point on, shy smiles gradually peaked out because we remembered, we all remembered, that we must carry on as the mother earth does.  We must carry on, for it is us that carry all possibility.

"What women carrying on outshining filth, outshining odds
What happens now New Orleans Haiti Congo women
Now or never
Women claiming what they carry claiming carrying
Now women colored brightly carrying everything, everything
Carrying on I tell you
Carrying on."

The 118

Enter the elevator. I am here waiting....like a creep.

Excuse me.  If you had to decide who in the world would save it, who would it be?

Reply...hmm a superhero...my precocious daughter...definitely not Obama, he had his shot...not the UN...Morgan Freeman?...that's a weird question with my 9am coffee...

Well I have an idea who it might be.  See, in my spare time I follow the field of global health and development.  In essence, I study the best way to help.  You know, the first rule of thumb in medicine is, "Do no Harm."  Well, the same goes for public health and development.  So often, people from the western world go into communities to try and be a superhero, but they can really only go so far.  Even when we study the best methods for helping, there usually comes a roadblock at some point. If you think about our heroes, they are  generally ordinary people doing the extraordinary in their communities.  I think the best way for communities around the world to really come out of poverty are to have more leaders come out of their own communities.  Are you following me?

"Sure, I see what you're saying."

Okay, but here's where I get a little more specific.  New leaders can't be just anyone. Right?

"Sure."

The leader has to be a girl, and not any girl.  It has to be a girl who is educated, knows what she's worth and makes her community realize her worth as well.  It's a tough thing to sell in communities that traditionally oppress women, but already there has been some major strides in communities in Nepal, India and all throughout Africa.  It's been said the realization of women's equality is the moral issue of our time.  We know that when you educate a woman, you educate - at minimum - the rest of a family, but also entire communities and even nations.

"Okay, that sounds pretty cool."

So, here's my idea.  Because we know that investing in women and girls has huge economic implications for countries, I am starting a higher education scholarship fund for girls in the Lower Everest region of Nepal.  The scholarship is available to the forty most talented girls in the region who are currently attending high school and live in a hostel I helped build this past summer.  At the hostel, they have leadership training, vocational workshops and English lessons.  My dream is to grow this fund into an opportunity for one of these talented girls to continue her education at the University level.  Currently, I'm working on the application process.  Maybe even one day, the girl will become a physician like me and return to her community and show the world what can be done if you give a girl a shot.

So, what do you think?  You seem like you're pretty good at ... (insert personalized compliment here such as making money).

Well, I'm pretty good at creating social change around me. Want to help?

Special shout-out to Val for donating to the cause!

I am a Human Being

Let me run through the thoughts that go on immediately post medical school exam.

1.) Anger- no, not at anyone particular - just pure rage

2.) Anxiety- all the worrying sinks in

3.) Fear about never being a good doctor one day

4.) Overwhelming sadness

Commence sleep

Wake up to this video, re-humble myself, and remember I always have at least 2 options in front of me no matter what the situation.  The series of decisions, actions and reactions to life is what makes up how we live and what the environment looks like around us.  If I chose to carry those feelings around all the time without letting them go, I would create a world that looked just like those feelings around me.  That is not a loving world.  Or, I could take a moment, just a moment, and think about my breathing and my words simply for the purpose of not creating more chaos in the world.

Coming home to ourselves in the moments where we are so disappointed with ourselves is so important yet not easy.  Think about this scenario: you are in high school, you did something wrong at school, and you know your teacher called your house; furthermore, an angry parent is waiting for you when you return home from school.  Do you go home willingly with a smile on your face? I don't.  I want to avoid all disappointment at all times.  The problem is if I don't take time to admit I am a human being to myself, forgive myself and move on from bad tests and other unavoidable conflicts and opportunities for disappointment, I'm pretty sure I take that anger out on others.  Again, that's not a pretty world to live in.

The other choice is harder and more uncomfortable.  It requires authentic flexibility: not the kind where you slough everything off like it's fine but really are boiling inside.  It takes practice and daily stretching.  With that, I need to get my stretching on, but I'll leave with one final thought from Maya Angelou as today is the first day of Black History month. 

"No human being can be more human than another human being.  You can be younger and prettier and finer and richer, but you can't be more human...in order to keep a person down, you have to be down there with them." Maya Angelou

Reading Material

"If the world doesn't start giving a proper platform for women, then it will fall flat on its face."

"A world where women make up less than 20% of the global decision makers is a world that is missing a huge opportunity for growth and ignoring an untapped reservoir for potential."

Women need higher education.

Think gender equality isn't an issue? We're in the U.S... who cares? 

The issue is real.

Donate if you want to see the worth of women increase around the world. 

Steps 1, 2, & 3

Neuro Exam #2 on Tuesday: that means a serious lack of progress, but fear not.  My jog today was consumed by how the Phoenix Fund is going to move forward (when some would argue it should have been consumed with straightening out the Cranial Nerve lesions).

For lack of time, I'll update you on my first 3 steps I will be able to fully commit myself to post-Tuesday and until Neuro Exam #3 crunch-time.

1.) Build and perfect my 118.  I will then be testing it on various professors and unexpected research subjects at school and in random places throughout the city.  Muaahaha: What's cool about social entrepreneurship research is no IRB required. (I think?)

2.) Business cards: I have a little campaign idea up my sleeve.

3.) Leap year meet-up fundraiser.  This all got started with the Leap Year Project, so I'll be having a Leap Day fundraiser party... stay tuned for when I get it on the map.

By the way- a special shout-out to Christina, Robyn, Mason Jar and various anonymi (anonymous plural?) that came through for my birthday! 

Training for the Marathon

So here it is: the big announcement.

I'm in this for the marathon, the training process; this is not a sprint to the finish line.
Rather, I'm training to build this thing like one trains your body for a marathon, and if you don't like the training part, you're pretty much sh*t outta luck.  I have fallen in love with the process, and will keep this blog and project going...indefinitely? This will grow slowly, and I mean really slowly, but it will grow inevitably.  It will grow most likely at the pace of molasses freely pouring from a jar, or better yet, at the pace of a snail. Just like The Format sings, "Snails see the benefits, the beauty in every inch," for this to grow right, and the way I want it to, I need to consider everything: evaluate all the possibilities for growth, and not be too eager for the instant gratification of success.

We know what happens when you jump the gun; you set yourself up not to last.  You push yourself too hard leading to burn-out.  I can't afford to do that.  There is too much to lose.

Just like the ecological model in public health, when you take time to consider all the possibilities and all the complexities, you realize the daunt of a problem, but you also understand an objective place to intervene, and you won't miss anything!

I can't miss anything.  Medical school, public health, boards studying, being a friend, a sister, and a daughter are all priorities.  One can  not haphazardly or absentmindedly try to save the world. Quick fixes do not work.

I'll take the example of congress to further illustrate my point. If you try to put band-aids on problems caused by deeply rooted structural violence, you won't gain anything but a lazy reputation by your constituents and meaningless wealth to push you further into a cycle of greed. Sure, money can by you power, but it doesn't buy real influence: the influence that matters, that changes hearts and minds that will ripple into change that outlasts economic waves.  What does that have to do with my little cause? I'm not risking anything.

I'm on guard at all times to protect the emotional and financial investment those (some even perfect strangers) that entrusted their 25-100 dollars to me to get this thing off the ground.  Living out my passion for building this scholarship fund deserves urgency but more importantly delicate care.  I have to make this sustainable and a little (seriously, only a little) practical to last.  I need to build a foundation for something to grow.  The past month I built my personal foundation.  I have affirmed my own convictions as well as my capabilities, but now it needs a more tangible foundation.

So, to start the foundation, I'll attempt to spell out the concept clearly and concisely, but staying true to my snail-like pace, and to make sure I make it to Economical and Political Aspects of Healthcare on time, I will be doing that tomorrow.  Stay tuned!

Before I leave my lair though (a computer lab with no windows or even people for that matter), I wanted to give one last thank you to those that believe in my idea, have stopped by to read my blog, and who have donated.  Some of you I have known my entire life (Gehrke, Andrea and Julie), some are total strangers (the many anonymous), and some are other young people I have met who believe in and work tirelessly for social change (Charlie Brown and friends).  All of you made my 25th birthday so special yesterday.  And lastly, a very special thank you to the Leap Year Project and LittleWhiteCoats for truly believing in me.  The little nods of encouragement really make a difference and help me keep my head up.

PS: If you just stumbled across this little project and feel moved: you can still donate, or even take your own leap! Go ahead. I know you want to!